Finding Inner Freedom

How can you find your freedom right now, in this moment? For those of us lucky enough to not be working on the front lines of this pandemic, we might be struggling with a myriad of emotions on a daily basis. You might be feeling sad, angry, hopeless, guilty or even rageful. And you also might be experiencing joy, peace, and gratitude. It's likely that you're vacillating between a few of those states.

It's important to remember that none of these feelings are wrong. No emotional experience is wrong.

During times such as these, it can be useful to have a mantra such as, "This too shall pass," or "This too belongs." This serves as a gentle reminder that, "No feeling is final." When we have the awareness that emotional states are temporary, this can serve as a gateway for more internal freedom.

The Mother of All Transitions Part Three: Opening Up to Feeling it All

The first time I held our little son in my arms my heart expanded to ten times its previous size. It might be a cliche but it is also true; there is nothing as powerful as a mother's love. Before having Sam (who's name means "God has heard" in Hebrew) I didn't know that I was capable of feeling a love that deep and that wide.

The first days and weeks after Sam's birth were like a second honeymoon of sorts for my husband and me. There wasn't tons of intense lovemaking (hahaha) but there was a feeling of deep connection, joy and gratitude that permeated our lives and got us through the tough moments.

And of course there were many tough moments! I don't mean to make it sound as though having a newborn is easy. We definitely had our challenges between lack of sleep and trouble breastfeeding. But the overall mood was dream like. I had wanted a baby for SO long and he was finally here. I was floating on a cloud of maternal joy.

The feeling I can liken it to most is the honeymoon phase of a relationship. I was gaga over Sam and so was my husband. Every coo, smile, and gurgle filled me up with waves of joy which saw me through the tough moments of overwhelm and lack of sleep. For the most part, I was riding on a wave of love and I didn't feel the tiredness and overwhelm that some people feel in the days and even months after giving birth.

I can credit this to the help I had from my husband who was able to take a couple of weeks off from work and who has had a natural gift from the beginning for being a  great "Dad." Sam and he had an immediate bond and it has been wonderful to watch their relationship grow and evolve. I was also fortunate enough to have support from my mother who came to stay with us for a couple of weeks in the first month of Sam's life.

I also continued bi-monthly meetings with my therapist, which helped to ease and reframe any fears that were coming up. Furthermore, I had years of inner work to help guide me through this motherhood transition. Having this strong foundation helped me to remain present to the gift that Sam was (and is) and not get sucked down the rabbit hole of worry and anxiety.

However there was a shadow that nipped at my heels, even during this time of whole-hearted loving. In the cocoon of our home, everything felt picture perfect. But when I tore myself away from the gaze of our little one and opened myself up to what was going on in the country and world, my chest started to tighten and I felt myself retreat from my heartspace up to my head.

Sam was born just after Trump was elected president and it is no exaggeration to say that I was devastated. Between the extreme right-wing immigration policies, the destructive environmental policies, and the lack of any meaningful action on gun control, it seemed as though bad news was everywhere. And slowly and steadily, this bad news started to worm its way into my consciousness.

Fear and love are close neighbors in the heart. It seemed as though the more I loved my son, the more fear I felt about the world we humans were leaving for him and all the children of the world. The grief, anxiety and powerlessness I felt around this was sometimes overwhelming. I could be sitting next to Sam reading him a story and feeling his soft body curled into mine and suddenly be overtaken by guilt and terror for the world that he could one day inherit.

It was often the case that when my heart would open up to the vulnerability of loving Sam and our family, that fear would slip through the opening that I had created and steal my joy.

Cognitively I knew this was no way to live, but emotionally I couldn't seem to break through the cycle of fear, anxiety, sadness, numbness-- wash, rinse, repeat. As much as I wanted to find answers and comfort "out there" from my husband, therapist, books, friends and community, deep down I also knew that the only answer that I'd ever truly be satisfied with would have to come from within.

After the birth of Sam, my consistent inner work practices had largely fallen away. I was simply too tired and expending too much time and energy taking care of this little baby that I had forgotten about taking care of myself. I had forgotten that taking care of myself was also taking care of Sam. And that I would be a much better mommy if I invested in self-care.

It took falling into a pretty dark hole to realize that I needed to do some deep re-investment in myself. But where was I going to find the time? I was teaching, coaching and "momming" all the time. By the time I got done with work, I was exausted and "inner-work" was the last thing I wanted to do!

What I have come to realize is that inner work and self-care can take many forms. Resting and napping when Sam is sleeping has been a key piece of the puzzle for me. I have taken the advice that I heard from many mothers to "sleep when the baby sleeps" to heart. Fewer things affect my mood more deeply than a lack of sleep. And there are few things sweeter than curling up with my now three year old to rest-- even when a pile of dishes or a client's email beckons.

I've also had to remind myself that I can show up for myself in small ways. At the moment it feels impossible to commit to a daily 20 minutes meditation practice, but can I pause and take one deep breath before getting out of bed in the morning or when I hear Sam calling for me? Of course I can. Inherent in that one mindful breath is the opportunity to reset and to come back to myself.

Throughout my adult life journaling has been a touchstone for me that has allowed me to express my pain and bring me back to center again and again. Since Sam has been born, it's been harder to find the inner discipline to write. However, when I do make the time, I feel the difference-- big time! When stuck in resistance (which shows up for me mostly as a feeling of tiredness) it is helpful to make and keep small promises to yourself. Maybe it's that I promise to do one minute of journaling or that I just write a simple gratitude list.

Any time that you carve out for stillness and inner work is a plus and it is normal for that to look very different than it did before you had a child. 

Sam just celebrated his third birthday and I am profoundly aware that becoming a mom has absolutely transformed me. I have little doubt that motherhood will continue to transform and break me open again and again. What has shifted is that I know see this breaking open as a gift. When my heart is broken open by fear or worry and I drop below the story of the fear, I see that there is an enormous opportunity in suffering. Suffering is an opportunity to heal at a deeper level. Suffering is an opportunity to release and transform old stories and beliefs. Suffering is ultimately a part of the deal of being a human being born on this planet. The key for me has been to meet this suffering, get curious about it, and even welcome it with compassion and acceptance.

How has being a mother changed you? What practices have served you in the motherhood transition? As always, I would love to hear from you!

The Mother of All Transitions Part Two: Birth

The birth experience was very important to me. I had it all planned out. I had a mid-wife and a doula. My husband and I had created a "birth plan" which was an unmedicated, vaginal water birth assisted by the mid-wife and with the support of a doula. It was going to be the perfect "hippy birth," but our soon-to-arrive son had other plans...

He was breach. I found this out about a month before his due date, however he had been breach for a long time and somehow my midwife had missed it... she had mistaken his tush for his head. I was so distraught when I found out he was breach. I set out to do as much as possible to turn him around naturally. I listened to tapes, did yoga poses, went to a chiropractor but nothing seemed to help. Every time I went back to the midwife he was still breach.

I was devastated. I knew that our soon-to-arrive son was likely going to be our only child. And partially because of that I selfishly wanted the "whole birth experience." I had a false belief in my head that if my son wasn't born "au-natural" that that somehow made me less of a woman.

I was also worried because I knew that the science said that it was better for the baby to travel through the birth canal. When babies are being born, the physical action of them traveling down the birth canal develops their lungs. When they travel through the vagina, the bacteria that is present actually protects them against disease.

I wanted the best for our baby and I already felt like I was failing at providing that. 

Desperate for a solution that would give me and our son the best chance for a natural childbirth I decided to opt for an external cephalic version. This is a procedure that is done in a hospital. The doctor (and in my case assisted by the midwife) attempts to turn the baby from a breech position to the head-down position preferred for a vaginal birth. This is done by the doctor pressing on the outside of the mother's belly to get the baby to flip in the womb. As this is being done, the babies heart is being monitored and an ultrasound is used to help guide the process.

The day came for my husband and I to go to the hospital to get the version. I was nervous and cautiously optimistic. I knew that versions were successful fifty percent of the time. There was a good chance we could be in that fifty percent. But I also had a nagging feeling that it wouldn't work. That I wouldn't be able to have the birth that I wanted and that felt like a huge loss. I'm gamely tried to bat away the anxious thoughts nipping at my heels, "What if it doesn't work? What if I have to have a C-section?"

We checked into the hospital around five and we were led to the room where the procedure would take place. Soon after we were told that the doctor was running late he would be there in two hours. My husband and I sat in the hospital room counting down the minutes and hours until he arrived. We then received another phone call... he was running an additional two hours behind! My anxiety shot through the roof. How could I be expected to sit here for four hours just waiting to find out if our baby could successfully be turned. I honestly can't remember how we passed the time, but somehow we did. Finally at almost ten o'clock at night, the doctor and midwife arrived.

I had been told that getting an epidural would increase my chances of having our little guy turn through the manual version. Reluctantly I had agreed. A anethetist with the bedside manor of Oscar the Grouch administered the epidural. Then the doctor, assisted by the midwife began trying to turn the baby. As they tried to turn him, he was being monitored by ultrasound. There were able to see him and monitor his heart rate.

All of a sudden his heart-rate dropped. He was going into distress. I felt panic rise in me. Hurting our baby was the last thing I had intended! The doctor and midwife stopped trying to turn our little man. Thankfully his heart rate returned to normal. I exhaled a huge sigh of relief. Grateful that no permanent damage had been done.

The mid-wife came over to us and said we had three options: 1) Get a C-Section right now. 2) Go home and return for a C-Section in a week. 3) Go to a doctor she knew in the city who would deliver a breech baby naturally. In my mind there was only one option: get the c-section right away. I couldn't imagine going home and waiting a week-- terrified the whole time that the manual version had caused stress and his heart rate would plummet again. I also wasn't up for taking the risk to deliver breech with a doctor I didn't know and hadn't formed any kind of relationship with. Emergency C-section it was!

Brian and I looked at each other. Little had we guessed when we came to the hospital this afternoon that we would be meeting our little man this soon!

The "Mother" of All Transitions Part One: Pregnancy

When we got pregnant-- after over two years of trying, I was over the moon with happiness. The previous two years had been fraught with tension, monthly disappointment, and the gnawing tick-tock, tick-tock of my biological clock, which seemed to be speeding up as the months and years went by. After getting a positive pregnancy test (on Mother's Day, no less) it felt like I had an incredible secret that I wanted to shout from the rooftops. I cannot recall many times in my life where I felt more happy or alive.

However, because I'm on the sensitive-anxious spectrum, my joy was soon overtaken by worry. "What if I miscarry?" became a frequent refrain in my head. Now that I was actually pregnant, the possibility of loss seemed too terrifying to imagine and also too possible. I was scared to breathe for fear I might miscarry this beautiful wish that I had been longing for. The possibility of loss had never felt so present and so scary before.

It wasn't until my dear therapist Sheryl Paul suggested that I get into nature and go for a walk, that some of my anxiety dissipated and I was able to rein in the specter of fear enough that I could breathe again. Over the years I've found that a surefire way for me to regain my center is to take in nature in one of its many forms-- be it gazing at the moon and stars, sitting by the sea, or walking among tall and silent firs. When I'm in places such as those, the inner chatter dissipates and I'm able to hear my Big Self. The Self that is connected to something greater than the "little me" who sometimes gets caught in the web of worry and discontent.

After that day of bathing in nature, the anxiety receded. When the anxious part of myself would pipe up with a "What if..." I was able to turn inward and do the work of soothing that part of myself who has a hard time sitting with uncertainty.

It is a strange thing to be growing a human in your belly. I could see the outward manifestation of my belly getting larger. I could feel what started off as butterfly flutters and what transformed into real honest-to-goodness kicks, but I couldn't see my baby. And because of that, I had to trust that no matter what happened I would be okay and our baby would be okay.

Aside from sensitivity and being prone to anxiety, my "advanced maternal age" (as doctor's like to call it) contributed to my fears that it all could go horribly wrong. I had just turned 38 when I got pregnant and had heard all the stats about fertility going into decline after the age of 35 and the risk of complications skyrocketing.

However, when I tuned into my Inner Wisdom the refrain was always the same, "You are safe and it will all be okay." Over the days and months of my pregnancy I had a few daily practices that really helped me to ground and stay connected to that "still-point" that lives inside all of us. Perhaps one or more of these practices will be resonant for you.

Journaling: Over the course of my pregnancy I kept two journals. One in which I poured out my fears and connected with my own Inner Wisdom. And another, in which I sent letters to our unborn son, letting him know how much he was loved already. The first practice helped me to steady my anxious thoughts and connect with my own source of guidance. The second practice helped me to connect more deeply with my growing belly and to feel more of a connection with the little baby that I had yet to meet.

Reiki: When I was pregnant I would give Reiki to both myself and our unborn child. I would place my hands on my belly and send my little one light and love. During these times of silent communion, I was able to feel a deep connection with the little person growing inside of me.  Even now, I have a daily Reiki self-care practice that helps me to connect with my breath, ground, center and soothe. It is non-negotiable time for me to turn inward, connect with life-force energy and revitalize.

Prayer: At the end of the day, when I'd curl up in bed and the dark thoughts would sometimes overtake me it was helpful to simply pray. I'm not a religious person (in the sense that organized religion doesn't resonate with me) but I do believe in the power of prayer. Sometimes all that was needed was some quiet time, with closed eyes and a silent prayer that my husband and I be guided and supported as we embarked on this journey into the unknown.

When I was pregnant, little did I know how much my world would be rocked by the birth of our little guy. Stay tuned for The Mother of All Transitions Part Two: Labor and Delivery.

I would love to hear from you in the comments. What was your pregnancy journey like? Or if you hope to become pregnant what have you been struggling with?

Watering the Plant of Intimate Relationships

Today I want to talk about connection. It's something we all want more of and something that in today's culture, many of us are lacking. We lack real connection with friends, family members and even the people who are closest to us: our partners.

Our society doesn't set us up for making connection a priority. Sure there's phones, text messaging and social media, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about heart to heart connection that can only happen when the phones are put down and we can slow down enough to really take one another in.

If you have children, it only gets more challenging to create the space to connect. But what happens when we don't make connection a priority?

Our relationships are like plants that need proper nurturing to grow and without tending they whither and eventually die.

Recently I've been struggling with connection. My husband and I are the parents to an amazing (and rambunctious) two year old boy. I have a coaching business and also teach at a university. My husband has his own demanding job. Sometimes it can feel as if we are simply tag-team parenting and passing like ships in the night.

What we've realized is that we need to make more time to slow down and connect-- even if it means that the blog post doesn't get written or the house doesn't get cleaned. It's important to let go of perfection and make time to water the relationship.

Watering your relationship doesn't have to look like going out to a fancy dinner and a Broadway show (although it can). It can also be about taking ten minutes at the end of a busy day to sit down next to each other, check-in and have a few minutes of heart connection. It's can be about taking the extra ten seconds to hug and kiss your partner good-bye, rather than rushing out the door and yelling, "Love ya bye!"

When we make space for connection with our partners, everything gets easier. The connection lightens our load and helps us to remember that we're not doing it all alone. It helps us to reconnect with what made us fall in love with this person in the beginning. And it brings more of a lightness to the routine of every day life. It helps us connect to gratitude and when we are grateful for what we have, we see the world in an entirely different way.

What's one action you can take this week to slow down and connect with a partner or friend? Notice how it shifts your perception and makes you feel more full inside.

I'm Back!

Hello dear audience! I haven't posted to my blog in about two years and during that time, I've undergone massive changes both professionally and personally. The biggest thing that's happened in my life is that I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy-- who is now entering toddlerhood! Professionally during this time I completed a Transformational Coaching program with Leadership that Works.

With all of these changes, my area of focus has changed radically. Through lots of self-inquiry led by a longing for more fulfillment as well as an inner knowing, I've switched my area of focus to guiding highly sensitive people through periods of transition. I've been doing this work for over a year now and find it immensely gratifying and fulfilling.

My intention is to become more active in creating more content for my blog and website so that you, dear reader, have a sense of who I am and who I'm becoming.

In that vein, a poem of sorts came through me today that the fearless part of me feels compelled to share. I hope that it resonates with you and perhaps even gives you a moment of peace.

Inner Space

Can  you find stillness even in the chaos of living?
Can you allow the world to swirl around you...
And still remain steady?

If you can't... okay
Be with that.

Remember Rumi:
"This being human is a guest house..."
Wherever you are is okay.
Your awareness makes it okay.

When you don't allow for what is,
You get stuck.

What would it be like to accept your life
As it is?
What would it be like, to not need
The externals to change?
Can you allow yourself to breathe into
The swirling movement of life?

What would happen if you could let go?
What would you make room for?
Happiness...
A ray of joy perhaps....
More comfort with imperfection...

Make a bit of space for that right now...
What happens?


Sending you light and love,

Sarah

Five Ways to Get Creatively Un-Stuck

I'm currently teaching a scene study class in Manhattan and a lot of my students speak to me about feeling "stuck." They feel unable to make progress in their acting career and find themselves spending lots of time in unfulfilling jobs that pay the rent but leave them little time to fill their creative wells. The good news for my students is that taking a class is one great way to get unstuck!

When you take a class, you're recommitting to your artistic path and telling your fear-based mind that you're going to do something creative and good for your well-being. Fear is what keeps us feeling stuck, so ANY positive action we take to nurture our creative selves tells fear that it's not in charge anymore.

One of my favorite quotes about the relationship between fear and creativity is from Elizabeth Gilbert. She writes:

I understand that you are Fear, and that your job is to be afraid. And you do your job really well! I will never ask you to go away or to be silent, because you have a right to speak your own voice, and I know that you will never go away or be silent, anyhow. But I need you to understand that I will always choose Creativity's ideas over yours. You may join us on this journey — and I know that you will — but you do not get to choose the direction in which we will walk, and you will not stop me and Creativity from making plans and decisions together.

Fear is always going to be with us. It is part of what makes us human, but fear should never be in the driver's seat. It can go along with us on our creative journey, but it can't be a decision maker. Too many of us allow fear to make our decisions for us. We choose what is known, what is safe and what will pay the bills. We sacrifice the very things that make us come alive because they make us feel too vulnerable, are too hard, and often don't pay the bills. There's a big cost to this; the cost is our sense of aliveness and creative fulfillment. Below are some ideas that you can implement to get you out of that stuck place and back into a state of creative flow.

• Take a Class. As I mentioned earlier, taking a class is a good first step to reconnect with the creative expression we love. It creates an opportunity for us to find community with other like-minded artists and offers us the chance to learn something new, sharpen our skills and get inspired. That being said, make sure you aren't taking a class to avoid participating in your art! Classes are great, but not if they serve as an excuse to avoid putting yourself out there.

• Do Something Every Day for your Craft. Commit to doing one thing for your artistic self everyday. This could be something like practicing a new monologue with a friend, going on an audition, seeing a play or sending out a submission to that agent you've been wanting to meet. We often feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work it takes to keep an artistic career going. It can help us feel more in control by committing to doing one thing per day for our artistic self. 

• Keep a Log. Write down (either in a journal or on the Notes app on your phone) a list of what you've done daily for your career. At the end of the month, you can look at the list with a sense of pride at all you've accomplished. It's also a good way to help take stock of what actions bore fruit and what actions did not. For some people (and I count myself in this group), the action of writing down what you've accomplished each day encourages you to keep honoring your commitment to yourself.

• Find an Accountability Partner. This is someone with whom you meet with on a weekly basis to encourage each other and to talk about what you've done for your artistic career. This is not the same thing as getting together with a friend and kvetching about how terrible the acting industry is! It's a scheduled weekly meeting where you get together specifically to strategize about what is (and isn't) working in your artistic life. Your partner is someone from whom you get support and give support. Finding a good accountability partner can be one of the most powerful things that you do for your creative life because it gives you a sense that you're not in this alone.

• Log Off Social Media. I know you're probably saying: what does social media have to do with being stuck? Often what keeps us stuck and inactive is comparing ourselves to others. Self-comparison is one of the primary by-products of social media. It's hard to move ourselves to act if we feel like we'll never measure up to what everyone else is doing. It's helpful to take a social media fast for thirty days in order to reboot and focus on taking positive steps rather than comparing ourselves to others.

We all get stuck from time to time, it's part of the human experience. The key is to recognize that you're stuck and to take that first step towards getting unstuck. The first step is always the hardest. We as humans are naturally lazy and tend towards complacency. However once you get the proverbial "ball rolling" it becomes easier and easier to keep making strides toward your creative goals. I would love to hear from you. What do you do to get unstuck when you find yourself mired in complacency? Feel free to respond in the comments!

5 Simple Rituals to Start Your Day Mindfully

I used to begin my day by pressing the snooze button about four times, scrolling through Instagram and email for a few minutes, dragging myself to the shower, smearing some makeup on my face and running out the door without breakfast. While it might have gotten me out the door in a timely manner, it did nothing for my mental well-being!

Recently I started to begin my day in a more mindful way. I've noticed that when I take time to center myself in the morning, that calm energy reverberates throughout the rest of my day. Morning self-care practices help us stay more calm, centered and focused. In turn, this helps us to be more efficient, effective and creative. Commit to at least one of the below rituals for thirty days and see if your mornings aren't completely transformed.

Below are 5 simple self-care rituals that you can easily integrate into your morning routine:

1. Intention Setting. Before I get out of bed or check my phone in the morning, I like to set an intention. "Intention setting" is different from goal setting. An intention is an expression of our soul's desire for that day. It could be something like: "Allow me to accept what life brings to me with equanimity and grace," "Allow me to make the time to be creative today" or "Provide me the space to take life less seriously today." 

2. Meditation. I've written about meditation before on this blog, but it bears repeating. I've found nothing more effective to start my day off on a positive note than the practice of meditation. Meditation also has a cumulative effect: the more often you practice, the greater the results. A daily meditation practice has helped me cultivate inner-peace and has given me more access to my creativity.

3. Gratitude. A gratitude list is a great way to both start and end your day. Making the time to jot down three things that you're grateful for every morning is a quick and easy way to connect with your higher self. There is even a journal specifically formatted for writing daily gratitude lists. It's called The Five Minute Journal  and I highly recommend it if you're someone who would like to start a gratitude journal but have never done so before.

4. Affirmation cards. I am a huge fan of affirmation cards. Many "self-help gurus" make them, but my favorites are Louise Hay's "Power Thought Cards." Every morning, after my meditation, I like to hold these cards in my hands and ask that I be guided to pick a card that will serve me today. I then close my eyes and shuffle the cards until I feel moved to stop. I pick one out of the deck, open my eyes and read the card. One of things that I like most about these cards is that unlike Tarot Cards, all of the cards in this deck are positive and inspirational.

5. Mindful Eating. Many of us don't take the time in the morning to sit down for five to ten minutes and simply eat our breakfast.  And even if we do, it's often in front of the computer or our smartphone. It's a gift to your body and mind to eat mindfully and simply focus on the action of chewing before getting caught up in the daily rat race. We place a huge value on multi-tasking in our culture, but there are enormous mental benefits to single-tasting. 

While you often can't control the events in your life, you can help yourself approach your day with some self-care. If we start our day mindfully, we have a much better chance of staying centered no matter what the day brings.

How Poor Diction Can Hurt a Performance

Recently I had the pleasure of seeing the Tony-nominated production of The Crucible. I am a huge fan of director Ivo Van Hove's work and loved his powerful production of A View From the Bridge earlier this season. Needless to say I was really looking forward to this evening at the theater. Unfortunately, I was disappointed. A large part of my disappointment was due to the fact that several of the main players were difficult to hear and understand.

There is a simple and profound lesson in this. If an audience member can't hear you, there is a good chance they cease to care about you. AND if the character is important enough to the plot, one may even stop caring about the entire story. Fortunately, I know The Crucible quite well, having studied it in both high school and college. Even so, I found myself straining to catch certain plot points because I simply couldn't hear some of the actors. And unlike most Broadway shows, these actors were not mic'd.

Whether you're a young actor embarking on your career or a seasoned professional, it's so important to take your voice and speech training seriously. Oftentimes young actors place way too much importance on getting the "emotion" of a speech and not enough focus on vocal clarity. Actors, first and foremost, need to be heard and understood. It is the most important aspect of your job. If I can't hear or understand you, I can't appreciate your beautiful character or emotional work!

That is not to say that you need to yell onstage in order to be understood. But you do need to be speaking from a supported and grounded place. It is also important to make sure that your consonants are sharp and crisp. In speech, the vowels carry the emotional life of the word and the consonants carry the thought. They are equally important.

If you are lacking training in voice and speech, check out my article on 5 Essential Physical Warm-Ups. In that post you will find valuable information on how you can open up your body and voice so you are able to get a fuller breath and speak from a more open place. I also recommend picking up a copy of Edith Skinner's Speak With Distinction in addition to working with a private coach who can help you speak with a more neutral American accent and improve your diction.

There are many variables in this business that are out of your control.  One that isn't is the clarity of your voice and speech. Don't underestimate the importance of this aspect of your training. It can literally make or break your performance.

5 Essential Physical Warm-ups

As performers we want to be present and "in the moment." That phrase is thrown around a lot, but what I mean by "in the moment" is taking in the information that is currently happening. One way we can encourage this is by opening up our bodies before we get on stage. All performers should do a physical warm-up of some kind before they hit the stage for a performance or speech. Stretching and opening our bodies helps us to shed the accumulated experiences of our day so that we can perform at our best.

Below are 5 warm-ups I always do before a performance. By no means is this list exhaustive, but it's a good place to begin if you are just starting out as a public speaker or performer. It's also an effective list if you need to warm-up but are short on time. Most of these exercises are from the Miller Voice Method work that I practice. In all of these exercises I encourage you to breathe in and out of your mouth, which is the most economical and easiest way to breathe. Focus on breathing into your low belly (the area between your navel and hip points.) You want your breath to be flowing easily in and out with no stoppage at the bottom of the exhale or top of the inhale.

• Jaw massage: I like to begin my warm-ups with this exercise: take both of your hands and clasp them together, bring your thumbs to your right and left side of your jaw and rub into the muscle that is just in front of the jaw hinge. You may find this to be slightly uncomfortable or painful. As a matter of fact, if it isn't you're probably not in the right spot. Most of us hold a lot of tension here. This is the last place of holding before "information" leaves our lips and is out in the world. If there's something we want to say but feel like we can't or shouldn't, it often gets "stored" in our jaw muscles. Remember when you're doing this exercise to release your jaw and breathe in and out of the mouth.

• Roll down: In a standing position, bend your knees slightly and bring your feet hips-width apart. (This is most likely going to be narrower than you think it should be.) Bring your chin to your chest and then slowly roll down the entire length of your spine, go vertebra by vertebra if possible. When you are completely released in this position take a few deep breaths into your belly and low back. Feel your belly expand and release against your thighs. If you would like to deepen this stretch, clasp opposite elbows and continue to breathe deeply. Stay in this position for about 30 seconds, then slowly roll back up through the spine. If you feel dizzy, put your index finger a foot in front of your face and focus on it until your dizziness subsides.

• Half-Moon: In a standing position, bring your feet together and clasp your arms above your head. You want your pointer fingers pointing towards the sky. Wiggle your rib-cage up off of your internal organs and feel the space that is created. Staying in this position stretch over to the right side, stretching out the left side of the rib cage. Notice how your ribs expand as you breathe in  and release as you breathe out. Remember to keep your body facing toward the opposite wall so you are not collapsing down towards your feet. Repeat this stretch on the opposite side.

• Hip Opener: Bring your legs a bit wider than hips distance apart. Bend your legs fully so that you are in a squat position. If possible, your toes and heels should be rooted into the floor. Bring your hands into a prayer position between your thighs. Use your forearms to gently press against the inner thighs encouraging a deep stretch. Try to maintain a long spine in this position. Breathe in and out of the mouth, maintaining the pose for 30 seconds to a minute.

• Tongue Twister: The last thing I like to do before going on stage is tongue-twisters! If I'm pressed for time and can only do one it's generally going to be "My Sister Sally." The reason being is that the "s" is the most likely sound to be sloppy in our speech. Having as much clarity as possible with our "s" makes all of our speech more crisp. You can find the full text of "My Sister Sally" in Edith Skinner's Speak With Distinction 

I like the progression of this warm-up because it warms up the whole body: the jaw, the spine, the ribs, the legs and the tongue. All of these exercises are linked by the continuous breath that you maintain throughout the warm-up. Please feel free to ask questions in the comments and also leave any warm-ups that you find useful!

On Nourishing Your Inner Orchid

This morning as I was writing in my journal, I looked up and noticed that an orchid I've had for over two years had sprouted a new vine. My heart lept into my chest. I bought this orchid a few years ago and after a couple of months the blooms fell off and it went into "hibernation." I'd been watering it every week or so for the past couple of years and (when I remembered) spraying it with orchid fertilizer.

I've been determined to get that orchid to bloom again. I could never throw it out, even though it hasn't bloomed it ages. It would be throwing out a living creature and that seems cruel and inconsiderate! So I've faithfully watered and spritzed this plant for years, hoping that one day it would bloom again. Today finally after over two years there is a glimmer that something might happen!

Aren't we like the orchid? We need tending and nourishment in order to thrive. Sometimes we go into hibernation and it seems like nothing is happening on the outside, but on the inside we may be completely transforming.

Most of us have days where we feel like giving up on our goals. They seem too unrealistic and we get discouraged because of the lack of forward movement. When this happens to you, remember the orchid.

It takes a lot of energy for an orchid to bloom and along the way it needs three things:

1) Nourishment: Orchids need water, indirect light and orchid fertilizer in order to bloom. Like the orchid, we also need nourishment in order to blossom. We need to feed ourselves physically with nutritious and wholesome food. We also need to feed ourselves creatively and spiritually in order to truly thrive. Choose activities that truly nourish you, such as going for a walk in nature or seeing a soul-stirring performance.

2) Rest: It takes a lot of energy for orchids to bloom. Humans also need adequate rest in order to perform at our optimum. If we're not getting the rest we need our physical health suffers, and so does our mental health. In times of intense activity, make doubly sure that you're getting adequate rest to support your well-being. And at those times when you're not productive, trust that the period of rest is necessary and nourishing so that you may bloom again.

3) Alone Time: Now you may think I'm crazy saying that orchids need alone time! What I mean is this: if you over-water, give to much sun to or over-fertilize an orchid (or any plant) it will die. Orchids need only a few ounces of water per week, any more and they start to drown. Check in with yourself daily. Are you giving yourself adequate "alone time"? Remember that when we feed ourselves too much "food," be it through activities such as socializing or over-scheduling ourselves, we are in effect drowning ourselves and damaging our ability to thrive.

It is a dance to stay in balance and harmony. You can help yourself achieve that sense of inner balance by following the above tips. How do you nurture yourself? I'd love to hear from you in the comments.

5 Ways to Stay on Track With Your Creative Goals

A few days ago, I got an idea for a book. I sat down at the computer and an outline flew out of me. It felt like this was the book I was born to write. In the process of writing the outline I entered that "flow state" where I felt totally in the creative zone. It was great.

However later that evening, the voices of doubt started to creep in: "Who's going to read this book?" "Who are YOU to write a book?" "How could you ever get this thing published?" "You're not even a good writer..." etc. So I stopped writing. A week went by and I did no work on my book. I abandoned this project that had given me a few hours of total joy and excitement. I believed the voices that said I wasn't good enough.

And then I had a realization: "Just write the damn book and worry about who's going to read it later. Write the book because right now your soul wants to create this book. Write it for YOU right now and trust that when the time is right this book will find it's audience... and if its audience is just you, that's okay." 

Have you ever found yourself giving up on a goal that earlier had given you lots of joy? 

Here are some tools for getting back on track:

• Don't believe everything you think. I've written a bit about this in a previous post, but it holds especially true in this scenario. Most negative thoughts are fear-based and invented by our subconscious mind to protect ourselves from perceived danger. Your brain isn't trying to sabotage you; it's trying to protect you. However, in most creative endeavors, you don't need you brain's protection. Shine a light on the negative voice inside of you that is trying to stop you from creating. Thank this voice and show gratitude for its efforts in trying to protect you. Also let it know that it's not going to stop you from pursuing your goal and then carry on creating!

• Resolve to work on your goal every day. I've committed to working on my book for 20 minutes every day. Now this might not seem like a lot of time, but 20 minutes a day adds up to 10 hours a month. Committing to work on something every day actually increases your odds of working on it for longer. Often I'll do my 20 minutes in the morning and then later find myself inspired to go back to work on a section of the book. I'm getting new ideas because the book is constantly on my mind and so my brain is working on it even when I'm not actively "working on it."

• Have an accountability partner. Oftentimes setting goals on our own isn't enough to keep us on track. It can be helpful to buddy up with a friend who is working on a similar goal. You can connect weekly in person or via Skype and make sure that you're both staying on track with your goals. Break your goals down into manageable weekly "chunks" and then check in with your partner to see if you've both reached the week's goal.

• Reward yourself. This one works really well for me and I've used it throughout my life. (It's how I used to get myself to go to auditions.) Your reward for making progress towards your goal can be anything you want it to be (although I do encourage green juice over ice cream). I urge you to give yourself small rewards as you make positive steps toward your goal, rather than one large reward when you've succeeded - this way you're most likely to stay motivated.

• Let go of perfection. I'm aware that my book is not ready to be published in its current state. I'm writing from the heart first and then will go back and edit and polish, etc. Writing a book takes a lot of time, a lot of work and a lot of endurance. I'm giving myself permission at this stage for the book to be rough, for it to be "bad." I'm in this for the long haul. I'm allowing myself to be in the process of writing a book, without needing my book to be a product.

I hope you found these suggestions helpful. They are certainly helping me stay on track with my goals. If you find yourself falling off the wagon with your creative goals, getting back on track is just a few actionable steps away. I'd love to hear how you stay on track with your creative endeavors.

Four Benefits of a Daily Meditation Practice

A couple of months ago I gave myself a challenge. I committed to meditating every morning for at least ten minutes a day for the next thirty days. I created a small altar on the coffee table in our living room, consisting of a Buddha statue, a surrender box, and an incense burner.

Every morning, soon after waking, I sit cross-legged for ten minutes in front of the altar. I meditate with my eyes open, but in soft focus and place my awareness on my breath. I count my breaths from one through ten and begin again when I reach ten. This method helps calm my mind and keeps me focused.

That doesn't mean that I've achieved enlightenment or inner-peace! On the contrary, meditating has helped me realize how active my mind really is. It seems as soon as I begin, my mind remembers this HUGE to-do list that had previously been living in the dark recesses of my mind. Things that had seemed trivial yesterday all of a sudden come to the forefront, wanting to be heard and recognized. When the thoughts come (and they always do), I try to practice compassion and loving-kindness towards myself. I label the thoughts "thinking" and bring my focus back to the breath.

Sometimes while meditating, I experience thirty seconds of presence and sometimes I experience two whole minutes! And at other times, no peace comes, just an endless stream of thoughts punctuated by breath.

What have I gained in my 80+ days of daily meditation?

• Time. I used to feel like I didn't have time for anything, like time was continually slipping away and I was running to keep up with all the items I had to check off my to-do list. I still have the same amount of responsibilities in my life, but now I experience a lot more space around these responsibilities. Time seems to be elastic, rather than fixed. And although I'm taking at least 10 minutes a day to sit in stillness, somehow I seem to have more time to do the things I need to do and, more importantly, the things I want to do.

• Inner Peace. A funny thing started to happen after I'd been meditating for awhile. I started sweating the small stuff less. For example, I live in New Jersey and have struggled my entire adult life with road rage. The moment I get in the car I'm "horn happy." I won't claim to be a saint now, but I will say that my tolerance for sitting behind someone who has stopped at a green light has increased ten-fold. I no longer take their absent-mindedness as a personal affront, but recognize that they may be having a bad day. Nowadays when I find my stress levels rising, I remind myself that "we are all one."

• Perspective. We all struggle. We all have stressful aspects to our lives that aren't going as well as we wish they would. Meditation has given me the perspective to recognize that my problems are only as big or as small as I make them. I have the power to change my perspective. I have the power to decide if a problem is going to ruin my day.

• Positivity. Before I started meditating, I was often at the mercy of my mind. Human beings have a tendency to over-focus on the negative and I was no exception. Since I've started meditating, I've become more aware of my negative thoughts. When you notice a negative thought before it takes hold, you can easily replace it with a more positive thought. One of my favorite sayings is: "You don't have to believe everything you think." Meditation has given me the power to chose more positive thoughts and that is an invaluable gift.

This started off as a thirty day experiment, but now that I'm eighty-seven days in, I think it's safe to say I'm hooked! I can't imagine not continuing to meditate daily and I've upped my daily meditation practice to fifteen minutes a day. Meditation is how I start my day; it is a small, but incredibly effective way that you can begin your day with self-care.

Don't Let Perfect Be the Enemy of Good

Yesterday, while taking a drop-in art class I had an experience that I don't always have when I'm engaging in something creative: I was fully "in the zone." My instructor even commented: "You're on fire today." Painting after painting was flying out of me. I felt free and almost reckless - a very unfamiliar feeling for me.

Class started off with quick thirty-second figure drawings, then we worked our way up to one-minute, and then finally four minute sketches. Ever since the instructor told me not to go over the same line twice, I've really struggled with finding my freedom in figure drawing. But today I was completely free, and as a consequence, my line quality was much better. I felt completely unconcerned with what the teacher thought of my work and totally uninhibited. It was one of the most enjoyable creative experiences I've had in a long time.

Afterwards, I was reflecting on why this was such a pleasurable experience. This is how I always WANT to feel while creating, why do I often NOT feel that way? 

I think this was so enjoyable because it was a drop-in class. Not a full course. Not a master's degree. Just a drop-in class. Therefore I felt no responsibility in getting it right or needing the teacher to like me. I was able to take it less seriously and just have fun with it. And I wasn't monitoring myself to make sure that I was improving.

If you practice at your chosen craft(s), you will improve over time. Worrying about whether or not you're getting better doesn't help you improve. It actually slows down your growth. Your intellect might think it's helping out, but it's actually slowing you down and making your creative process less fun. Ultimately there's truth to the simple adage that "practice makes perfect." Or rather, since there's no perfection in the world of creativity, "practice makes better."

Don't let perfect be the enemy of good. Create even though it won't be perfect. Create BECAUSE it won't be perfect. Create because you're spirit cries out that it needs to express itself. That is where the freedom is. That is where the joy is.

5 Ways You Can Meet Your Fear With Compassion

With all the violence (and threats of violence) that have been in the headlines these past few weeks, the emotion of fear has been living very prominently in my mind. Fear is the most primal of all human emotions; there are no grey areas in the emotional landscape of fear. This emotion has a very important role: to protect us from danger. It prevents us from thinking we can hug grizzly bears, no matter how cute they may seem. The problem comes when fear wants to "help out" when it isn't needed. And in our modern world - where we generally aren't being chased by grizzly bears on a daily basis - fear often feels the need to lend a helping hand when it really isn't necessary.

In our society, admitting that we feel fear is often considered shameful, and yet the mainstream culture constantly feeds our fear, making it grow stronger and more powerful. We may try to fight fear or deny its existence, but in my experience, that isn't a very effective approach.

So what are we to do with the voice of fear when it tells us to run away when we're in a casting office waiting to audition? Or when it tells us to stay home and not go to the audition in the first place? Or when it immobilizes us when places are called before a performance? Below are some tools you can use to manage and diminish fear:

1. Make friends with fear.  It isn't going anywhere, so you might as well befriend it! When you notice it bubble up in you, say: "Hello fear. I see you there. Thanks for trying to protect me. I appreciate you." Fear will always be in your life, but it doesn't have to control your life.

2. Name your fear. Try thinking of fear as a separate entity from yourself. You might even want to give your fear a name. I like to call mine "Gertrude." Seriously, give your fear a funny name and you begin to take some power away from this previously unnamed force. When we treat our fear as something separate from ourselves, we are more likely to not let it govern us.

3. Turn off the news. I'm not suggesting that you become completely uninformed and blind to all the suffering in the world. What I am suggesting is limiting the amount of time you spend watching, listening, and reading about negative things happening. It is so easy to become addicted to the negative news cycle. Personally it doesn't make me feel empowered to have this "knowledge." It makes me feel more fearful, overwhelmed and disenfranchised in all aspects of my life. This is especially important if you are a highly sensitve person. While this may not seem to directly relate to stage or audition fright, the more opportunities fear has to manifest itself, the more real estate it will take up in your brain.

4. Take positive action. Instead of watching news, contribute a few dollars to the causes that matter most to you-- whether that be global warming, homelessness or war. Or use your creative voice to create art that will engender positive social change and illuminate the issues that are near and dear to you!

5. Meditate.  Meditation allows "the mind chatter," which is often fear-based, to quiet down. When you meditate, see if you can get in touch with your higher self. The higher self lives inside each and every one of us. It is our connection to something greater than ourselves: our inner wisdom. Allow your higher self to be the one who watches your fear. When you consciously shine light on your fear (instead of unconsciously letting fear run the show), fear's power will be greatly diminished.

Fear is natural, it will always be there. But you have a choice as to how you're going to react to it. The important thing is to not let it run your life. Don't allow fear to stop you from going to that audition or sending that submission to a casting director. When you take positive action towards your goal, you will meet your fear with compassion and it will become less powerful!

How to Cultivate Beginner's Mind

If you're a perfectionist like me, learning and creating while practicing "beginner's mind" is something you might find challenging. What is "beginner's mind" you ask? Beginner's mind is a concept from Zen Buddhism that encourages the practitioner to cultivate a sense of openness and eagerness.  It asks that we let go of prejudgement when engaging in an activity. No matter what your skill level, it is helpful to bring a sense of openness, presence, and childlike curiosity to your creative endeavors.

Despite its name, beginner's mind is not just for beginners. Practicing beginner's mind even when we're "experts" can help invigorate our acting, our creative endeavors, and our everyday lives with a sense of wonder and "nowness." It can help bring us into the present moment.

What are some ways you can begin to apply "beginner's mind" to your creative life? 

1) Allow yourself time to transition. Arrive early to a new class you're taking so when you get there you're not in an anxious and harried state. When you arrive, take some quiet time to center and prepare yourself for the experience. This can take many forms. For example, you might find taking a couple of minutes for meditation helpful, or perhaps journaling helps to quiet your mind. Find what works best for you and turn it into a ritual.

2) Breathe. I know it sounds simple, but there's a lot of wisdom in this simple reminder. When you breathe, you relax your body and create more openness. More openness in your body leads to more openness in your mind, your heart, and more openness to the present moment.

3) Have a sense of humor about yourself. Many artists (myself included) have a tendency to take themselves way too seriously. This cuts you off from the enjoyment of learning and also from creativity itself. You can't be fully alive and creative if your inner-voice is prejudging everything before you have a chance to utter the first lines of the monologue, put pen to paper, or wet your paintbrush.

4) Be curious about resistance. If you're feeling anxious about trying something new, ask yourself what is making you uncomfortable. Figure out why you are afraid of committing to the activity. Oftentimes, "This is stupid," actually means "I'm afraid of looking like an ass."

5) Don't be afraid of looking like an ass.  As an artist, you have to be willing to risk looking like a fool. This requires some vulnerability on your part. I'm not certain of many things, but I am certain  that nothing great was created without vulnerability.

The next time you find yourself in a situation where you're exercising your creativity, notice how you react to it. Do you allow yourself a sense of play and openness? If you do, you are practicing "beginner's mind." If you don't, don't beat yourself up- that only exacerbates the problem! Instead, breathe, take a step back, and remember the above tools. Happy creating everyone!

The Birth of Creative Work

As those of you who have been following this blog know, a few weeks ago I started taking a weekly art class. It's been great for me to connect to my creativity in a structured way. I have learned so much about my creative process and I've only been in the class for 3 weeks! I can't wait to see what else I learn over the next couple of months.

This week in class the focus was portraits. The instructor had us put a big blob of red paint in the middle of our paper, which was used to create the shape of the model's head. She told us to use black and white paint to convey where light and shadow were hitting the model. We had 15 minutes to complete the painting. The idea of this exercise was to work quickly and not get bogged down by thinking about each brushstroke.

We did three of these 15-minute paintings over the course of the class. Each time, mid-way through, I was convinced I was doing a terrible job and I should start over. (There's that sneaky inner critic again!) However, instead of crumpling up my paper, I breathed through the discomfort and finished each painting. And guess what?! A face emerged on the canvas. I started each painting with a big blob of paint in the middle of the paper and over the course of 15 minutes somehow I created a portrait. In a way, it was magical.

It got me thinking. When I'm in the middle of a rehearsal process I often go through a similar experience. I start off the project excited about the possibilities and happy about the chance to create something new, but in the middle of the process, I sometimes feel lost. Everything feels muddy and uncertain. It's a very uncomfortable time, often filled with self-doubt. It can feel as if you are eight months pregnant with your creative work, awkwardly lumbering about, anxiously waiting to give birth.

What I've come to realize is that the middle of the creative process is very much a liminal zone. Liminal is defined by Merriam-Webster as "of, relating to, or being in an intermediate state, phase, or condition." Liminal zones are transitional times in the human experience when we are neither here nor there. Examples of common liminal zones are: graduating, moving, starting a new job, getting married, being pregnant. These are often challenging times in our lives, filled with uncertainty and discomfort.

My thought for you today is to realize that the middle part of any creative process is a liminal zone. It's okay that in the midst of creation we are uncomfortable-- you could even say that it is natural or inevitable. You will get through it. Trust that you won't stay there forever. That "in-between place" is simply a part of the creative process. It is a necessary part of your art being "born." And while that is sometimes an uncomfortable, and even painful process, it is also necessary. We can't NOT create in order to avoid the discomfort. The consequences of denying ourselves artistic expression are simply too high.

30 Day Meditation Challenge

Hello friends! Previously I talked about meditation as a tool to bring more presence into our lives. I've decided I want to make meditation a more regular part of my current routine. Practice what you preach, right?

I've been an avid meditator during many periods of my life, but lately my practice has fallen off. I want to bring it back into my life in a structured way. In the past, I've often practiced meditation as way to cope during difficult periods. During those stressful times, meditation brought a great deal of inner-peace and a sense of space into my life. I'm curious as to how my life can transform if I commit to a daily practice when I'm in a mental space of relative peace and happiness.

I've challenged myself to a 30 day meditation challenge. Every day I will start my day with a 10 minute meditation. It may be a guided meditation or it may be simply sitting in stillness. I'm choosing 10 minutes because it's a manageable amount of time. I'm not a morning person, but I know if I leave my meditation until the evening it simply won't get done (and as much as I love my warm bed, getting out of it just 10 minutes earlier is not going to kill me).

As I've mentioned, I've meditated at different times in my life and I also practice Reiki self-care, so stillness is not something that is entirely new to me. What is new to me is the idea of committing to 30 straight days of it! Part of the reason that I'm choosing to share this on my blog is I'm hoping it will give me some extra accountability.

What am I hoping to achieve by the end of the challenge? More presence, more gratitude and more peace. I would love to have some fellow travelers on this meditation journey, so please feel free to join me!  I'd also be thrilled to hear from you. Leave a comment on your favorite meditation style, a guided meditation you enjoy, or what you do to bring more space and awareness into your life!

Growing Our Tolerance for the Unknown

“Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.”

-Agnes DeMille

I was listening to a New-Agey podcast the other day-- because I do that kind of thing sometimes. And the host was saying that he thought that people thousands of years ago could communicate telepathically. His rationalization was that people couldn't write letters and if they were separated for long periods of time, they must've found a way to communicate with each other. His hypothesis was that they must've done so telepathically.

I didn't necessarily agree with his hypothesis, but it got me thinking... about human beings today and how our intolerance for the "unknown" is so low.  This random podcast led me to my own hypothesis: humans who lived thousands (or even a hundred) years ago must've had a much higher tolerance for the unknown.

A thousand years ago, information was extremely hard to come by. Books were rare and usually written in Latin. According to Google, only 6-15% of the MALE population was literate in the Middle Ages. There must've been a great deal they would've had to come to peace with not knowing.

Go back to 1915, just a hundred years ago, there was no internet, no television, no radio. There were telephones and it was possible to send a telegram, but it was expensive and uncommon for most people to do so frequently. People mainly wrote letters to communicate. If you wanted information, you had to go to a library or ask someone. Alternatively, you might have to live with the fact that there was a question that you could not answer.

Now there's us in 2015, living in the age of technology. In New York City, most of us walk around with palm-size computers in our hands (or at least within arm's reach) for at least 16 hours a day. Today, information is literally ALWAYS at our fingertips. Is there something you don't know? Not a problem, just Google it and you have your answer-- or in most cases, you have pages and pages of answers.

This has revolutionized the way we relate to the world. It has had many positive benefits, sure, but there are some negatives. I would argue that it has greatly lowered our tolerance for dealing with the unknown. We can find answers or confirm what we already know on an infinite number of subjects. "What was Robert Downey Jr's most recent movie?" "How do you make a chocolate soufflé?" "Should I worry about this funny looking mole on my right elbow?" 

So when we are confronted with the questions we can't "Google," it's very disquieting to us. We have the answers to millions of questions one click away, but we don't have all the answers. "Am I going to get cast in that show?" "Did I do a good job at my callback today?" "Does my agent still like me?" Then there are even bigger life questions like, "Am I always going to work at a day job?' "Will my relationship last?"  "Is there a God?" "What is the meaning of life?" 

Of course, all of the above questions were always unanswerable (even before the internet). However a hundred years ago, there were also many more questions in any given day that were unanswerable.  And so we were more used to living with the unknown. We were confronted with it all the time. Today, we are still confronted with the unknown, but information is so easy to come by that it makes the answers that we can't have intolerable! And this is backed up by the increasing rates of anxiety in our culture. According to an  article in Salon, almost 1 in 5 people are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in any given year and 28.8% of the population had been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives.

How does this relate to acting you might ask? Well, it certainly relates to the anxiety that many of us experience when we're waiting to see if we booked a job or how nervous we get before we go in the room for an audition. Below are some coping strategies that may help increase your tolerance for the ambiguity we face in our lives. 

• Unplug: Turn your smart phone off or put it away two hours before you go to sleep each night. If you do leave it on, resist the urge to check Instagram or Facebook just one more time before you go to bed. You'll sleep better... and really you won't miss much. Give yourself the opportunity to sit with the uncomfortable feelings that might arise. I promise you they will pass and you will have given yourself the gift of growing your tolerance for the unknown.

• Get outside: Studies show that people who live in less populated areas suffer less anxiety and depression than those who live in urban areas. If you live in a city, make it a priority to get out of the city and into nature weekly. This doesn't even mean you have to leave the city. If you live in New York, go sit or take a walk in Central Park, Prospect Park or go to the Botanical Gardens in the Bronx.

• Meditate: Every day find time for stillness. Meditation can be what you want it to be. I don't necessarily mean sitting in the lotus position and contemplating your navel (although that can be great.) Meditation can be listening to a guided meditation, it can be sitting quietly and focusing on your breath or on a mantra, it can even be coloring in an adult coloring book. The most important thing is that you're taking space in your life for quiet stillness and contemplation.

• Exercise: This is perhaps the most important item on the list. When we exercise we create more space and flexibility in our bodies. Creating space in our bodies also creates space in our minds. Exercising regularly is a proven fighter of anxiety and depression. However, even if you don't suffer from either of these conditions it can still help to create more ease and joy in your life. 

I'm not sure previous generations were telepathic, but I'd argue that people who lived in another era experienced more wonder and more uncertainty in their lives. And as a consequence, they had greater tolerance for the unknown. We can cultivate a greater tolerance for the unknown in our lives through the above tips and also through simply connecting with our breath, grounding, and having compassion for ourselves. 

The Inner Critic

Being an actor seems like the most fun job in the world. You ostensibly get to "play pretend" for a living. But sometimes for myself, and perhaps for you, it isn't fun. When my inner critic gets involved, it can suck all of the joy out of the process.

I spent a few years solely teaching and not acting because putting my ass out there was too scary. This thing I used to love stopped being fun because my inner critic got so loud that it might as well have been called my "inner bully." Recently I've come to realize that avoiding acting (or whatever your creative craft is) doesn't make the fear go away, it just shows up in other aspects of your life -creative or otherwise.

A few weeks ago, I started taking an art class. I used to love painting and I thought it would be fun to take a figure drawing class. I was having a great time doing gesture drawing when the teacher came up to me and made an innocent comment: "Don't go over that line you just drew." I froze up. The pleasure of creating went away and that seemingly innocuous statement activated my inner critic. "You don't belong here." "It was a mistake to sign up for this class." "You don't know how to draw." "You're the worst artist here."

Then I got mad! How dare my inner critic show up here! This was something I was supposed to be doing purely for fun. Is my inner critic going to show up and steal my pleasure and my joy every time I do something creative?!? That's not fair!

I had thought my inner critic only came out to play when I was acting. Now I realized it will rear its ugly head no matter what the creative endeavor. I've been giving fear way too much power in my life. It's been dictating what I do and don't do. And the more power it has, the less joy I experience.

The inner critic is always going to be there looking for the right moment to strike. If I can't get it out of my head completely, how can I work with it so it doesn't control me? I have a few ideas:

• Recognize it for what it is. It is the voice of fear; it is NOT your true voice.

• Treat it as something separate from yourself. Imagine your inner critic as a friend who sits next to you. Would you let someone speak to you the way your inner critic does? I wouldn't! Say to your inner-critic, "Thanks for the input, but I got this!"

• Acknowledge the fear is there. Don't deny it. Do your creative work anyway. By not practicing your creative work, you've shown the inner critic that it's powerful, that it can control you and can prevent you from being creative. Instead, "feel the fear and do it anyway."

• Take time to journal. Writing down what you're inner critic says can be so helpful because when you see it on the page, you can call it out for the bullish*t that it is. Writing it down will help you discover what is underneath the critic and that is a huge step towards quieting its voice.

• Take time for stillness every day. Meditate or go inward in a way that works for you. Meditation has a cumulative effect that will start showing up in other areas of your life. When you meditate, you're a more centered human. And when you're centered in yourself that voice isn't going to be nearly as loud. Plus, you'll be able to recognize the "inner critic" more quickly (rather than falsely identifying the voice as your own).